Revenge
by hollybridgetpeppermint
Summary: Ever wondered just where the idea for "Love Never Dies" came from? Well, here's the answer... Short one-shot. WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS for "Love Never Dies"!


Disclaimer: Not only do I not own "The Phantom of the Opera" or any characters, names, places, situations, etc. that are related to it, I also don't own the man to whom I refer, in this story, as HIM and HE—the man we all (well, I _think_ it's all of us) know: the composer of the well-known musical. I won't mention any names, since I'm not sure if doing so might get me sued. Please note that this fic is meant as a joke only, and I am IN NO WAY affiliated with the man I mention; I don't know him personally, and, to the best of my knowledge, this man DID NOT REALLY do any of the things I say he did in this story…

_**EVERYONE, PLEASE READ THIS: If you didn't read the disclaimer, please note that the man to whom I refer as HE and HIM is NOT Erik—"HE" is the real-life composer of the well-known musical.**_

_**Also, I DO own the segment of a fanfic with the terrible grammar and spelling; this is NOT taken from a real fic—I made it up for use in this story. I would like to point out that I have read through and edited this section quite a few times, and that ALL ERRORS IN THE ITALICIZED PART OF THE STORY ARE PURPOSEFUL—so please don't review and tell me to fix them!**_

* * *

HE was outraged.

How on earth could they take the musical HE'd composed—HIS dramatic, well loved, beautiful, poignant musical—and make it into—into _this_?

HE read another "fic," shaking HIS head in disgust as HIS eyes skimmed the badly written paragraphs.

"_Erick" said Christin "I was so scared! I thougt Roul would kill me!_

_She begun to sob, and he, held her close. "Dont worry Cristine, i will save you from the terrible Raul" he spat the name like it was spittel "who beat you up adn drank himself nearly dead nad had affairs with other woman goign on "business trips" even tough he said he was your night in shiney armor! kristine I love you!_" _he sang_

"_Thankyou Eric" she said lovingly to him I never really love Rauol you know. it was always you"_

"_I know" He kissed her passionatly_

This was horrific; it was absolute drivel! How could anyone possibly stand it? There was no way that HE would ever write anything like this as a sequel to the story—

_Wait_, HE thought suddenly. _What if it _was_ the sequel? What if…_

With the wheels in HIS brain revolving madly, HE picked up a pencil and several sheets of new score paper, went to the piano, and began to write.

* * *

"The Phantom" and "Christine" had trouble keeping straight faces as they sang through the last minutes of the show. "Raoul," when he'd been on stage, had been having a good deal of difficulty, too. Even "Meg" had nearly started laughing during her part, though she had a better time of it than the others; any sudden, inexplicable (to the audience) mirth from her might be taken as another sign of the madness that she was supposed to have succumbed to, and therefore wouldn't be as big a problem as it would be if "Christine" were to snicker when she was supposed to be dead, or if "the Phantom" were to hoot suddenly when he ought to be weeping because his beloved was dying. "Gustave" didn't quite understand what all the fuss was about, and therefore wasn't as close to laughing as his older costars—who really were very near to breaking out in hilarity.

"Your father," said "Christine" quietly, "your _real_ father…" Then she switched to singing, trying to stay in character and not succeeding very well. "_Look with your heart, and not with your eyes. The heart understands; the heart never lies…_" At this point, her voice broke slightly as she suppressed a giggle. Luckily, this minor mishap made it seem, to the audience, more as if she was actually dying. "_Believe what it feels and trust what it shows. Look with your heart; the heart always knows…_"

The cause of the impending storm of laughter was not the death scene, which was dramatic enough (perhaps too much so). It was the fact that the actors couldn't help themselves conjuring up mental pictures of what the Phans' faces must look like.

Meanwhile, HE was sitting in the audience (heavily disguised, of course), and trying desperately to keep back HIS own laughter—and it might be said that HE was having the most trouble of anyone, since, while those on stage kept _imagining_ the faces of Phans (particularly Phangirls), HE could actually _see_ their expressions. HE watched them wince and recoil in horror, and had to stuff his fist into his mouth to muffle his snorts of amusement.

* * *

As HE slipped out of the theater after the show, HE heard one outraged Phangirl say to another, "That was awful! I mean, the music was gorgeous, as always—at least, most of it was—but the plot…! It was like a really bad fanfiction!"

"Tell me about it," replied her friend, looking pained.

_Ahhh_, HE thought, with a grin that, if not on the face of one so well respected, might have been called "evil," _revenge is sweet_.

* * *

**A/N: All right, well, I hope you understood what I was trying to say here…but in case you didn't, here's a brief explanation:**

"**HE" was reading all the terrible fanfics out there, the ones that feature unrealistic-and-often-badly-spelled Christine returning to even-more-unrealistic-and-also-often-badly-spelled Erik, usually because unrealistic-and-often-horribly-spelled-Raoul has become a drunk/wife beater/other terrible thing. Not to mention that Erik (or Erick, or Eric, etc.) and Christine (or Kristin, or Kristine, or Christin, or Cristin, or Kristin, or even Kristen…) have usually…er…been together at some point, or at least they do so after Christine comes back to Erik… So, considering that this sort of plotline seemed to be what Phans wanted, "HE" gave it to us (with a vengeance)—in the form of "Love Never Dies".**

**Got it? :D**

**Thanks for reading! Please review! (…and look out for another fanfic from me, hopefully soon, about "The Give a Character a Hug Foundation"…there are so many characters in our favorite stories who really just need hugs—Erik is obviously one of them…there are also Javert (from "Les Misérables"), Snape (from Harry Potter), etc. … so stay tuned for their reactions to finding out that they are some of the intended beneficiaries of this "Foundation"… -snicker-)**


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